We are all born with the ability to know when we are in danger. I like to call this the “Yellow light Warning.” Have you ever noticed that just about anything negative that has ever happened to you, there was some kind of warning beforehand? We have be keen on any situation that can hinder our positive developmental stages. Here are a few tips.
Like you let your sister drive your car and she got a ticket and against your better judgment you kept letting her drive and a week later she had an accident? Or you are being ignored at work all of the sudden by your superiors and a couple of months later you get fired. I’ve known people who ignored the pain in their chest and had a heart attack thereafter.
The list goes on and on. In women, it’s called “intuition” and in men, it’s called “gut feeling” but it’s all the same thing, it’s that feeling or spiritual connection in your gut and/or core (being) that something is just not right, someone around you can’t be trusted or you are not paying attention or all hell is about to break loose.
In the situation where we are surrounded by the wrong people, there are some things that are obvious, to the point that you can see the dangers of some situations way in advance.
The most important question we can ask ourselves should be, how does this person treat their “friend” behind their backs. If they gossip about them or tell their business you can best believe when your back is turned, you are next.
If this person is reckless and doesn’t value their own life, how much will they value yours? It’s a rhetorical question because some basic math should solve this simple equation. Nevertheless, here are a few various personality traits that you may need to watch out for more closely in your everyday dealings.
The most important thing, and you have heard this before ALWAYS surround yourself with the right people.
Something that is ready, willing, and able to bring our positive development stages to a screeching halt is insecurity. When you don’t feel good about yourself, you not only reveal it in the things you say, you radiate it in the things you do, and your energy screams it. People who are insecure either come off as arrogant or timid but in both cases, they hide from life and fade into the atmosphere because they fear life.
They can also hide in the background admiring you and we all like to have our egos stroked and we think it’s harmless but if a person doesn’t care about themselves they will be a Judas to you. Is this really someone that you want to surround yourself with?
Never be fooled by beauty some of the most beautiful people can have the most rotten souls so dig deeper beause the old saying is true, Beauty’s Only Skin Deep.
Even if they lack motivation, do you have the time to keep building others up and ignoring yourself?
A great place to see insecurity is in nightclubs, it’s the woman who goes out with her girlfriends but is the only one who isn’t dancing and is watching everyone’s purse but tries to act like she’s having a good time bopping to the beat.
It’s the man who holds up the wall and doesn’t say anything to anyone the entire night. Why would someone get dressed up in either situation to not participate in life? Only they can answer that.
“Better to be quiet and fool people than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” The ignorant person is the one who makes statements that make you cringe or they come off like they are “keepin’ it real” when they are actually (as Chris Rock said) Keepin’ it real DUMB.
They have a need to get their point across but the only problem is they don’t have a point or at least one that makes sense.
Surrounding yourself with people like this will certainly be a reflection on your personality even if it’s not who you are.
Racism like race is something that you just can’t hide no matter how hard your try. if you are black, like me you can tell a person is a racist in seconds of being in their company. They have an energy.
A racist is not always the person who is blatant and comes out and expresses his hatred, he is also the one that shuts down when he is around people he feels uncomfortable with until they are gone. He is also the one who tries to test the intellect of someone in front of others to try to make them look dumb.
He is the one who throws away all applications from African American sounding names before he gives the pile to his boss. He is the one who states if a white woman has dated a black man, he will never date her.
He is the older white person who looks at minorities over the top of his glasses in judgment and his disdain for a person of color is evident no matter how bad he tries to hide it.
You KNOW if this person heads a company, he will not hire you but he will certainly listen to and benefit from your ideas. Dangling the carrot as if he may give you an opportunity if you prove yourself but this is not his intention.
He feels uncomfortable with you and doesn’t want to spend time with you. He will also pass the buck and make statements like “It’s not about race…’ When he knows it is. This person does not have to ever say one word, when he or she walks into a room, you can just sense it.
The person who judges others has probably been judged at some point in his or her life and they still feel feelings of inadequacy which is why they reflect their negative feelings onto someone else. The person who judges is letting you know outright how insecure they are.
There are some situations where judgment is OK like someone leaving a dog in a car when it’s 100 degrees outside. In a situation like this, you are valid in saying “What kind of of a dog owner are you to leave your dog in the car like that?”
However, if it’s based on someone’s clothes, hair, a brand of car, or job, or who they are dating… that’s a different story.
Need for Validation
This is probably one of the most common personality traits of all and you see a LOT of it in cities like Los Angeles. People will not admit it but we are all always seeking validation, Many times to an extent that is faulty and obvious. Another place you used to see it more (pre-pandemic) was Facebook and social media.
This is not to say that everyone who does this is guilty. Not at all. The ones who are NOT guilty of it update with pictures of VARIOUS things and people in their lives. Those who are desperately seeking validation update with constant pictures of themselves seeking approval, poking out their asses to the point of hip dislocation, etc.
I remember I once had a neighbor, an older black woman who was bitter, condescending and mean as hell. She rarely left home and was always unkempt. She never spoke to anyone and when she did she was arguing about someone running on her grass or talking too loud in front of her house.
Nobody liked her. One day, I heard someone singing, they had a beautiful, melodic voice and they were singing loud and strong. I looked out my front door and it was her.
She saw me and spoke with a smile. I had never seen her teeth. This 60-year-old woman was practically skipping back to her house like a young schoolgirl.
She continued to sing as she thumbed through her mail and it became apparent to me what had happened. When she went back into the house the mailman came out, fixing his shirt and heading to his truck. She was as happy as a Leprechaun on St. Patrick’s Day. Hey, sometimes it really is about connections.
The attention from a man changed her whole personality. When people are lonely they are often bitter, sad, or miserable for the attention of a significant other first than others.
Think about it, when you have been lonely in your life, and we all have, would you have rather had friends or a significant other? Both? Ok
Make no mistake, people can be married, to the wrong person, and be miserable too. People can be friends with people who don’t even have to be negative or hurtful but you just don’t connect with them. Have you ever had that?
There is no harm in keeping company with people that make you feel good and it’s reciprocal. You can always know it’s reciprocal when they repeatedly hang out with you but it never means you have to settle for what makes you uncomfortable.
If loneliness is ugly then desperation is hideous. Have you ever seen a drunk person? Sure you have they can be funny, mad, quiet, bitter, etc but a DESPERATE drunk person is another story. They are sad this can happen when we don’t make the changes in our lives that we need to make, we start to beat ourselves up instead of BUILDING ourselves up. We are free but we remain prisoners.
That means you will let people and things in your life to get any kind of a spark even when it can be dangerous and when you are desperate you will always attract MORE negativity into your life.
If you keep company with desperate people, there is no way around it, you will become desperate too. Out of all the negative personality traits, this one is the most dangerous.
There is probably no other negative personality trait more sinister than jealousy. The jealous person attacks with vengeance and hate and they literally have no reason for disliking the other person, there is almost always absolutely no connection… or is there.
People are most passionate about the things they desire the most, want to be the most, or want to have the most.
If they can’t have it, can’t do it, or can’t be it, they attack others because someone they have it.
On my other site where I talked about DJs, I had been contacted by MANY older radio DJs who complained about Steve Harvey and how he was destroying radio. Truth be told, they were jealous. Perhaps not of Harvey but they are jealous of the situation. Steve Harvey didn’t even know they existed.
They were mad because the opportunity has not been offered to them and their careers were in the final phase. I have literally seen people DIE in these situations which made doing the site at times incredibly depressing.
At one time even I talked badly about Steve Harvey and I knew I was not jealous of him but I had to ask myself if I was jealous of the situation? The answer was neither, I had allowed myself to be influenced by what others were saying about him.
I had no desire to do radio again. I never liked it but I did want to see young black DJs get an opportunity to work in radio and that’s why I was harsh about the show. That was 10 years ago. Today, radio is desperate for DJs for this very reason. They lost interest. I realized I don’t control any of the corporations so I can’t make that call.
Contempt is the cousin of jealousy. I once had a boss that had contempt for me and he made sure he used his power to make my work life a living hell.
To this day, he is the ONLY person in the entire industry, well, he’s not really in the industry anymore… that I didn’t like and that’s a stretch for me. I had to confront him and let that go because it was affecting me.
I can get along with anyone but beware of the person that has contempt for you. The great thing about them is they are almost always a sign of a promising future for you.
They see something in you that you may not see in yourself. Nobody is out to destroy a homeless person. Sit back and let Karma take its course. Never try to get even. Those who have contempt are almost always self-destructive at best and they are their own worst enemy so get out of their path because lightning doesn’t discriminate when it strikes.
If you have the least bit of intuition in your body you can smell a traitor a mile away, he or she is the person that will feign friendship and trust then stab you in the back. You don’t even have to have great discernment to notice these types. Unfortunately, they are often wolves in sheep’s clothing.
They can be the best-looking person in the world but they usually don’t have a lot to bring to the table.
Traitors never grow because their reputations often precede them. They can use their looks or charm to get in the room but once people discover their energy they walk away. After a while, they lose all credibility and respect, and no matter what they say people take it as a grain of salt.
What does Hypocrisy mean? Saying one thing and doing another of course.
One of the most irritating things is the person with the fake ego. The one who acts like they have everything together and like they are on top of the world and they live their life a certain way and everything is just the way they planned it.
I knew someone like this who was a con artist. Literally. He would break into people’s mailboxes and steal their credit cards. He stole a very expensive ring off of a football player’s table and he even messed up his own elderly mother’s credit.
He would befriend celebrities, tell them about fake investments and rip them off. Once I discovered who he was I cut ties but he was a great politician and a master of his craft. Unfortunately for him once the word got out everybody cut him off. He moved to another part of LA to start the whole process again.
I also think we give WAY too much power to Black ministers and preachers who fall directly into this category as well. They tell everybody else what to do and have secret lives of their own as well as problems. That’s a whole different Top 10. Share and comment.